


Not Every Morning is a Great Morning

by Big_Honkin_Soup



Series: Jeritza and Byleth live on a small farm together [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Crying, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral My Unit | Byleth, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other, Romance, Some Spoilers, Spoilers, byleth helps Jeritza return to himself, byleth is a big softie and wants the best for jeritza, distraction to help cope, how do I title things, its not too graphic but if you are sensitive to violence maybe watch out, jeritza is trying his best, some violence is described
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23201947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Big_Honkin_Soup/pseuds/Big_Honkin_Soup
Summary: A couple years after the war Jeritza and Byleth have settled down together and have been working towards helping Jeritza learn to cope with his inner demon. Lately he has been doing much better, but has a rough morning. (wow i suck at summaries)
Relationships: Jeritza von Hrym & My Unit | Byleth, Jeritza von Hrym/My Unit | Byleth
Series: Jeritza and Byleth live on a small farm together [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1675039
Comments: 9
Kudos: 53





	Not Every Morning is a Great Morning

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this really late at night and I dunno why I wrote it tbh. Hope you enjoy! Really wanna write more Jeritza content now.

Dating Jeritza wasn’t exactly easy, but Byleth loved him and would do just about anything for him. Most of the time dating him was amazing, he was truly a sweet and genuine man with many soft spots, including taking care of some stray cats. However, it would be a lie if Byleth said dealing with Jeritza’s inner demon was easy. It was challenging to watch the man they love turn bloodthirsty and violent, but Jeritza was trying everyday to learn ways to cope and get better.

It’s been 2 years since the war ended and they have been officially dating for 1 and a half years, though they did share some intimate times before that. Now they have moved out of Garreg Mach and settled down on the outskirts of a small town. They owned a quaint little house together with some land and a small farm. The quiet peaceful life helped Jeritza out more than he would admit. On a rough day he would complain that it was boring and how he’d much rather go into town and kill, but Byleth would help him redirect his attention to some farm work or another task to be done. The days when Jeritza almost seemed free of his demon were the best, he smiled and even laughed and Byleth would take him out for a picnic on the little hill nearby or they would dance while making dinner in the evening. 

Lately, life seemed to be getting better. The heartbreak of war slowly leaving, Byleth becoming more and more expressive, and Jertiza feeling more and more free from his demons, his bad days becoming less and less frequent. They had fallen asleep late last night after talking about life together, Jeritza mentioned trying to coax one of the stray cats inside to live with them and Byleth agreed with enthusiasm. Byleth loved to fall asleep on his bare chest, listening to the beating of his heart while Jeritza drew lazy circles across their back. 

But bad days are bound to happen and relapse was just another part of life.

Byleth was jostled awake from slumber and thrown onto their back. Confused they tried to get a bearing of what was happening when they felt cold metal press against their throat. They took a deep breath to help calm themself before opening their eyes. 

Jeritza was above them, his hair a mess while the first peaks of sun rays bounced off his bare torso. Byleth would have been completely smitten were this a normal morning, but Jeritza’s eyes were wild and distant and his breathing ragged. 

“I would love to drag this knife over your throat and watch as the blood flows down your body.” His voice was still gravely as a side effect of recently waking up.

Byleth had to take another deep breath to help keep calm. While they weren’t scared of any actual harm, Jeritza was still very intimidating like this. He was bigger than Byleth and currently pinning them down with all his body weight, his knees keeping Byleth’s arms squished to their torso. They knew they could forcefully take control of the situation if they needed to, but they hoped they wouldn’t have to resolve this with force.

“Emile-” The use of his real name was a bit of a jolt and the knife pressed harder against Byleth’s throat.

“Do not speak that name. Emile is long gone. Never to return. Killed off just like you will be.” His voice shook just a bit as he spoke.

“Emile, let’s go for a picnic together.” Byleth kept their voice soothing and calm. “We can go out to the hill you love so much. A warm and sunny day, I even brought the quilt your sister and mother made for us.”

Byleth winces, Jeritza is shaking a bit and it causes the blade to nick Byleth’s throat, nothing serious but they do feel some blood escape. Jeritza seems to be staring at the wall behind them.

“We settle down on the quilt. I brought the food this time, some of those little sandwiches we make after baking fresh bread, there is fresh fruit we harvested earlier in the day, I even snuck in some cake from last night, the one you dumped more sugar in when I looked away.”

Byleth’s arms have started to ache from the weight of Jeritza bearing down on them. He looks more torn and he’s shaking more, but his eyes are locked on Byleth’s in an intense stare, focused on what they are telling him.

“We are eating together, the sun warm on our skin and we can hear a couple song birds chirping happily. One of the cats you love has followed us Emile.”

“I said not to use that name.” His voice sounds slightly more controlled now.

“He’s purring and rubs his soft fur against your hands, settling on your lap. I reach out and brush a few stray hairs out of your face and a light warm breeze flutters by.”

“Warmth… Your fingers as they brush my face.” His eyes are starting to become normal again, his expression softens a bit.

“Yes, I carease the side of your cheek gently with the backs of my fingers. My other hand takes one of yours and we sit together.”

His eyes become normal once again and the tensions in his body eases out slowly. He’s still not all the way there, but he’s coming back. 

“Hey” Byleth sayes breathily, making sure to be extra soothing and calm. “I need you to set the knife on the nightstand.”

“Set the knife… on the nightstand.” He moves slowly, his gaze seems far away, but he moves the knife away from Byleth’s neck and he eventually sets it down where directed. Byleth decides to be a bit risky and starts to move one of their arms out from Jeritza, both of which have fully fallen asleep and hurt like hell. He doesn’t seem to take much note of it, seemingly fixated on Byleth’s left ear at the moment. 

Byleth gets their arm free and gently strokes the side of Jeritza’s face, something he knows Jeritza loves and finds comforting. He leans into their hand and closes his eyes. 

“Hey, Emile. Come back to me.” Jeritza slowly opens his eyes again and relief floods Byleth as they are able to tell he’s back to himself.

“Byleth…” His eyes wander down to their throat and he is taken aback. There is a small trickle of dried blood from the small cut on their throat. “Did I cut you!?” He akses with panic in his voice.

“Not intentionally, my love, you were shaking pretty bad.” 

“How could I allow myself to do something like this?” He then seems to notice their position and he throws himself off of Byleth and onto the bed, hugging his knees up to his chest. “Why would I ever want to do something like that?” He asks through gritted teeth. Byleth can see a couple tears spill down his cheeks. 

Byleth moves towards him slowly, their body aching a bit. They want to reach out and hold Jertiza, comfort him and hold him close, but they also know that physical touch can be a bit much at times for Jeritza. “I’m here for you, however you want me to be.” Byleth waited patiently for a few moments but Jeritza showed no signs of responding. “Jeritza, can I hug you or would that be too much?” 

It takes Jeritza a bit before he briefly shakes his head no. “But if you could just put one arm around my shoulders.” He asks in a small voice. Byleth feels proud that he was able to voice what he wants, it is hard for him when he’s this shaken up. They move to gladly do as he asked and Jeritza let’s his head rest on Byleth’s shoulder as he begins to sob.

They sit together like this for quite some time, though no one is keeping track. The sun is fully out now and one of their roosters is crowing off in the distance. Jeritza has stopped sobbing but a few tears still make their way down his face. “I thought… I would do better. It felt like it had been so long since the other side of me showed through. I thought I had got rid of him, or at least he wouldn’t be able to fully take control. I feel like a failure.” His voice was still raw from crying and Byleth could hear the pain he felt. 

“Though it may feel like backwards progression, look at what you have been able to do. It had been awhile since he had taken over, longer than the last time. And you seem much more at ease, I’ve seen you smile more, a smile that lights up my whole world. You help take care of life here with me, those cats you are so fond of as well as all of our animals, helping life flourish instead of taking it. You have made so much progress, don’t let one bad morning take all of that away.” 

“Do you know I love you?”

The question takes Byleth back a bit. He had told them a few times before that he loved them, mainly whispered on a quiet evening after a great day, but he was never one to be up front. Still, through his actions Byleth could tell he loved them.

“Without a doubt.”

“Even though I could snap and hold a dagger to your throat, talking about how lovely it would be to take your life?” 

“I know who you truly are and why you say things like that. He is you but also not you, regardless I know they are just words and that you would never actually kill me. Besides, even if you did we both know I could easily take you down, would barely even break a sweat.” The last addition earned them a small chuckle. Jeritza moved off their shoulder, sitting up with a sigh.

“I have grown tired, will you sleep with me for a while longer?” He asks sounding like his typical self, a more emotionless expression spreading across him.

“Well, I should get started for the day, it is light outside after all and one of our roosters won’t shut up. That being said you asked me so kindly and I could never refuse such an offer.”

The both of them moved back to how they had fallen asleep and exchanged a warm smile. Jeritza pressed a loving kiss to Byleth’s lips before fully settling down.

“I love you.” Byleth says quietly.

“And I love you.” Jertiza replies and they both drift off once again. 


End file.
